


I Want to go Back

by DeafBee



Category: Homestuck, homestuckv2
Genre: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:33:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23925433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeafBee/pseuds/DeafBee
Summary: Jake still struggles with his past but somehow still longs for a life partner.  He thought he had it once but that ended up with him being kicked out and dusting his grandmother's island off to raise Jade alone.For John's 16th birthday he is called back to Washington state and forced to face those who he thought he had loved but now tormented by their ghostly touch from the past and his mind cursed from the game.  What game?  he couldn't remember but he swears it had happened.(Eh, will edit a better summery)
Relationships: Jake English/Dirk Strider
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I will do my best to do chapter warnings when one is needed

The letter came in unexpectedly. Mostly because Jake’s island does not get any postal services and getting anything to and from the island is such a hassle and an expensive feat. Yet somehow someone had the cash to send him one singular letter, never mind the fact that an email would have been faster and much more convenient. Jake helped the small crew dock their boat onto his island and warned them to not try and venture off too far. There are areas even his belated grandmother would never think to brave. The crew thankfully complied and stayed close to him as he led them all up to his little mansion.

“Not to rush you,” a woman, Jake assumed she was the captain seeing as her uniform was decorated the most out of the others and seemed to take charge first and yet somehow not a single crease cut over the soft blue fabric that adorned her. Even her hair was still smoothed back into a navy bun. “But a quick response would be preferable. I have heard stories not only of the beasts on your island but in the water as well.” Her face didn’t show fear if she felt it.

“I-,” he looks down at the singular parcel. The envelope was thin, hell, he would even believe it to be empty if it weren’t for the fact that this whole situation is odd. “Mind if I read it first?” He asked sheepishly.

The captain nods and turns away to assess her crew taking a headcount and assuring that they can leave as soon as Jake gives whatever they need. Jake opens the letter and immediately recognizes the hand writing.

  


Jaccob English,

It will soon be our dear Johnathon’s birthday. I think it would be a wonderful surprise if we have his closest friends come and live with him. I have already arranged living quarters for you and Jade. Jobs and schooling have been accommodated and ready to take effect as soon as you arrive. 

I eagerly await for you to help him have a wonderful birthday.

Lovingly,

Janette Crocker

  


This was not a request. If Jake knew anything about his ex-wife, she did not ask. She demands with an iron knuckle. He knew Jade would struggle. She lived her whole life only interacting with him and her friends on the internet. He has done his best to raise her on his own, given her anything she could have wanted which was surprisingly not a lot. Just plant seeds, colorful strings, and his company to go hunting and exploring. She never asked about her mother or if she even had one. It was probably best that way but now he will have to crash course her before she meets Jane and her best friend and brother, John.

He slides the letter back into the envelope and heads off to Jade’s room. Despite the island being huge somehow he always knew where to find her. With the rising sun and her room position, she will probably be doing some potted gardening before high noon. Her door revealed a messy room. The few books she owned were on the shelves but laid on its side. Squiddles and other strange toys strewn about the room and played on her desk with her recent goop project. Her bed was neatly made every morning at least. She was balancing on a chair plucking out dead flowers from one of her many hanging baskets. He smiles at her as falling flowers and leaves tangled into her mess of curls. She hasn't changed out of her pajamas yet nor washed her face. 

“Good morning, Pumpkin,” he walks in, careful not to step on anything. “How did you sleep?”

The girl hops down off of the hair and beams up at him. “Good morning, Grandpa! I had the most wonderful dream.” Her large clear green eyes, often what he imagined the forest of many pools in The Magician’s Nephew would look like. She opened her mouth to share her dream but stopped. “You look troubled.” She could see right through him. She took his hand and led her down the stairs in her room to the lower floor where she had her personal indoor garden. She dutifully took him to one of the raised tables and handed him a rake. Of course she would know gardening calms him. It’s something for his hands to do. “Talk.”

Jake couldn’t help the small chuckle as he kissed her hair. “My little frog.” he said endearingly before coming the rake through the asparagus pulling up the little weeds growing around the stalks. Would Jade be allowed to garden when they move? Shoot her guns and go exploring? “Your friend is turning 16 soon.” He starts off clearing the weeds off of his tool absently. “His nana sent us a request.”

Jade pressed her full lips together looking down at her hands in the dirt. “Oh… And you don’t like it- whatever this request is.” 

Jake nods letting the silence wash over them. He didn’t want to say it but one does not simply defy the Crocker heiress. “We will probably be leaving home.” He finally said out loud.

Jade simply nods, accepting her fate. Jake assumed John must have told her about his moth- nana seeing her react like this. She wasn’t always like this, Jake tried to convince himself but all he could remember was their short lived marriage. He truly did believe that he would be happy with her. Maybe it was the stress of suddenly taking the mantle of a whole corporation or maybe Jake did not execute his role of a loving and supportive husband correctly. But shortly before Jade’s first birthday he was served devorce papers and asked to move back to his island home which had been abandoned for nearly a decade by then. Thankfully it was mostly intact with minimal rework and replacement and not a whole lot of things to shoo out. A few months later he received a very short email informing him he was the father to a second child Jane just birthed. Nothing else. He had to learn from Roxy the details of the birth and that he had become the father of a boy, Johnathon James Egbert. She did not want him to inherit either names as it would be better if no one knew she had children and Jake stayed out of her history. And yet she is asking him, or more specifically, Jade, to come back into her, John’s, life. How will he ever explain this to Jade in such a short period of time?

“And Bec?” Her voice cracked. Her little body shakes with the fear of the unknown. Tears were already running down her face.

Jake hugs her tight, pressing her body into his chest. He wanted nothing more than to protect her and give her a happy life.

“He is coming with us. He is our family and deserves to be with his best friend.” He promised her.

Once she had calmed down and they finished the gardening chores he sent her off to clean up. He heads back to the foyer where he left the crew. Some have taken a seat to rest their legs on a plush cushion. Bec must’ve come back from his hunt because he was allowing one of the crews to toss him a ball. His tail wag happily. One was inspecting a pot of flowers Jade had carefully cross breed and gene selected to make more vibrant and the petals a unique shape. He swallows hard, Jade really will lose her whole life work.

The captain saw him approach and turned to face him expectedly.

“We will comply,” Jake told her. “How do you want us to do this?” He asked her.

“We will help you pack tonight. Anything you need, there is plenty of room on our ship,” she said quickly. The smallest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her lip. She takes out a pager instantly typing something into it. Probably letting Jane know English-Harley will be returning with them. “If it is not a hassle, food supply would help.”

Jake nods, “I’m sure the garden has plenty of ripe foods we can take with us.” And the rest will rot with his heart. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight child abuse

It took almost a month but when the crew finally reached the mainland, Jade dramatically threw herself onto the ground of San Diego, same as she did in Hawi, Hawaii for a fill up two weeks ago. Thankfully no one objected to Bec from coming with them. He was Jade’s best friend and loyal guard. He stuck to her side the whole time and even barked at one of the crewmen that wandered too close to her while playing her guitar. She called him back which he complied but still bared teeth at the offender. Once they reached land there was a car waiting for them. 

“Mister English?” The driver asked him, opening up a door. “Do not worry about the luggage, we will send them behind you. For now we need to get you to the airport.”

Jade hops in first seating herself on the nice leather seats. The driver made a face when Bec jumped in after her. Jake can only assume he was not looking forward to cleaning up the white fur when he drops them off. Jake did not blame them, it looked like a really nice car and the interior was more than what he could handle. Everything was smooth and polished to a shine.

The private plane was even more over the top. Swivel chairs, flight attendants for their every needs and food and drinks to entertain more than two people. Jade was getting uncomfortable again. Bec curls at her feet feeling her getting anxious. Jake sat next to her holding her hand.

“Hey, it will be okay,” he smiles at her. “You will get to see John and Becquerel will get to explore a new place and maybe something new to chase.” He let her crawl into his lap for comfort. He patted her hair slowly. “And you can make more friends. I’m sure Jane will let us go out to a gun range.” He chokes on her name.  _ She is your mother and she didn’t even want you or even to be a part of your life. _ He closed his eyes trying to keep his mind clear. Jade and her happiness comes first. His heartbreak and struggles does not matter if Jade is scared.

“Do you think so?” Her watery eyes were pink rimmed. “Do you think I can teach John as well?”

“Of course. And you can do so much more as well.”

After a few minutes of calming down she fell asleep on his chest. Bec had his head on her lap letting Jake pet his head. 

“Oh, Bec, what am I going to do?” He asked the beloved dog. He whines in response making Jake chuckle. “You’re right. The past is the past. If Janey wants us back, who am I to deny her? Maybe she really did change her mind.”

Once the plane landed Jade had already woken up and was snacking on some of the food tossing some to Bec making him jump for a few scraps before he was given a proper plate which he scarfed down happily. Jake had spent the whole ride tormenting himself over the past keeping himself from crying or shaking. He will not let Jade see him be weak. He has to be her rock. She looks up to him and searches for his guidance.

It was cold in Washington state. Of course it is, it’s halfway through April and spring was fighting off the last winter chills. New greens buds on the trees and the grass was growing strong pushing off the last bit of brown. The wind was chilly and bit at their cheeks.

They were shoved into another car. Not as shiny as the one in San Diego but it was still a lot for their standards. This driver was a lot more chipper. She informed them they will be at their destination in under an hour. Jade warmed up to this chipperness, being a bubble of happiness herself. They chatter the whole ride talking about their island home they left and the driver being completely in awe of Jade’s former lifestyle. Jake spaced out letting his mind slip into the past.

Where did he go wrong? Did he give Roxy too much attention? They were both pregnant at similar timing and Jake did periodically check on their shared friend about her pregnancy as well and general well being. Maybe Jane was jealous that he gave her some attention instead of checking on her comfort. Jane did seem to take the pregnancy easy. There was never a day she didn’t have a displaced hair or old lipstick. Even the birth was quick. She didn’t want to hold Jade when she was born. Her crying was too loud for Jane. Jake was happy to hold her and adore her. She seems to calm down almost instantly when he holds her.

No matter what nanny Jane hired, Jade still prefered Jake. No matter what Jane did she was never satisfied with the small baby and found her annoying or in the way so Jake took up the mantle of making sure Jade was satisfied and out of Jane’s way. He really did try everything but maybe in his tries he ended up loving his baby daughter more. Maybe that is why Jane could no longer stand him even with how often she invites him to her room and fill his cup until he can not remember how he made it back to his own room and a swimming head. 

He was forced back into reality when Jade squeals. Their ride pulls up to a huge house, a mansion bigger than the one Jade, Bec, and Jake lived together in. It wasn't the same home he and Jane lived in during their marriage. This was far away from the nearest neighbor. The home that they had shared together was in a nice suburban neighborhood with matching houses running the whole grid. This was actually modernist looking with the excessive flat surface and windows and a tall structure front door. A figure approached the car with a wide black lipstick smile. A girl in fact . She was short and a little hefty. Her skin warm, warmer than Jade’s and her dark head band barely kept the tight platinum curls out of her face. Her outfit differed from Jade’s bagging shirt and skirt helped up by a thick belt. This girl wore a dark sundress with fishnets legging and a royal purple blouse under it.

Jade was out of the car in seconds and ran the last gap between them straight into her arms. The strange girl caught her easily and did not fall back catching the force of impact surprisingly well. She smiles and hugs her back just as tight. Bec bound after them yapping happily and running circles. 

“Jade, how was your trip? You must be severely jet lagged. Let us get you inside.”

“One second, let me grab my bag and help Grandpa out,” Jade runs back to the car. “Grandpa, it’s Rose!” Her cheeks were pink from all the smiling. “John’s nanna must've brought her here, too. Now all we are missing is Dave.”

Jake smiles collecting their few things from the car before he gets out. “I am so happy for you.” He gave her forehead a quick peck. “Go ahead and play with your friend. I am sure there is much talk and catching up to do after being a month offline. I can handle our bags just fine.”

“Oh, Mister English?” Rose peers behind Jade. “My father would like to help you with those bags, he was putting on his shoes when I left to come out to meet you.”

“Jakey!”

Jake tried to look beyond the two friends for the familiar voice. His chest swells with excitement. The girls quickly got out of the way, Jade giggling, as Jake slipped out the car. He saw his old friend running to him. He instinctively opened his arms as they threw themself into it. With an arm around their back and the other scooped under their knee they did not fall. Roxy plants a big wet kiss on his cheek laughing at his moustache that tickled their cheek.

“Oh you really did become handsome since I last saw you. You finally grew your own moustache as a man.” They twirl their fingers around the tip of the waxed facial hair. “You look like that college professor in every tv show I had a crush on.”

“And you have not aged a bit,” he finally let out a heart laugh. “You kept the short hair, it suits you well. Mostly because I am not choking on it every time I catch you.”

Roxy laughed and got out of his arms straightening their sweater, a dark navy with the logo of some kind of science lab over the heart. They also sported some kind of loose sweatpants. A stark oddity to the last magazine clipping they emailed him. They had not transitioned then and wore a tight white lab coat and a bright pink scarf, presumably Rose made for them. The article was about their team and what their studies have found. This look seems so much more like the Roxy he grew up with than the stark clean lab coat. “Maybe I will grow it out again and become the enbie Repunzel that drowns you in my beautiful golden locks.” They ran their hand through the kinky curls kept long on the top of their head. Their mahogany skin rosie pink with happiness. “I am so happy our kids have become close friends. Why wouldn’t they?”

Jake sighs dramatically. “No, Roxy, please spare me. I have so much to live for.” He bursts out laughing.

“Hmm, maybe I will spare you. In the meantime, let me help you with those bags. Your rooms have already been set up. The kids are in the east wing and ours are in the west.” They grab one of the carry-on bags hefting it over their shoulders. “Rosey Darling, you can take Jade on a house tour and maybe show her that garden you were so adamant on making perfect.”

Jade’s face lights up and looks eagerly at her friend bouncing on her heels. Rose grabs her hand and runs straight for the side of the mansion to go around back with Bec close on their heels following them with a wagging tail. Roxy led him inside. The front foyer was large and hollow. And white, blindingly white saved for the balck and white checkered floor. That is the signature Jane design. There was a small round table made of cherry wood in the center where Jake picked up his personal house key before they headed up the grand stairs to the east wing to drop off Jade’s bag and guitar. The room was spacious and a large window facing the front lawn covered most of one wall with a curtain to close if she so chose. Thankfully the basic furniture was already provided. A bed, desk with a new computer set up, a wardrobe and a closet full of hangers ready to be used.

As they walked to the west wing Roxy finally spoke. “How are you holding up? I mean, I know the travel has been rough but how are you emotionally? I know you and Janey had a bad break up. It must be odd to be invited back.”

Jake was silent a moment and stopped walking to think. “Maybe I have been forgiven by Jane or maybe she is willing to set aside our past to benefit John.”  _ But not Jade, who is also your child _ . 

“Maybe, but I am glad we are all coming back together,” they gave him a warm hug. “There was something wrong with Dirk’s plane so they will not be arriving until tomorrow. On John’s birthday he and Jane will join us. It will be a whole reunion.”

Jake swallows nervously. Roxy’s dream is his nightmare. He hasn't talked to Dirk in over a decade and half. Only to check On Roxy and her child birthing progress. Dirk never responded and it remained that way for over 17 years. At least occasionally Jane checked up on him even if their conversation was empty or one sided. No, don’t think that way. It has been over 20 years since they broke up with each other. Dirk must’ve changed. He is not the same Dirk that he loved. He must have matured and grown more since their teenage days. 

“Thank you for checking on me, Roxy. You really do have a stiff shoulder.”

They smile and grab Jake’s bag for him, “Good. My room is across from yours if you ever need a good talk.” 

They went to his room which had a similar set up to Jade’s but it was the back of the mansion and had a large porch hanging over a patio. There was a grid of fenced off gardens. He could see their daughters, mostly Jade, explore the dirt and what little vegetation was growing. It was still early in the year and most seeds will not be growing yet. Rose stayed on the sidewalk letting her friend do all the talking. Bec found something interesting in the ground and started digging which received encouraging words from Jade who was also interested in what he was getting at.

“Hopefully you will find it comfy,” Roxy announced as they set his things on the white sheets. “I tried collecting some movie posters for you but they seem to be hard to come by these days. I was hoping maybe we can go shopping later after you settled? Buy sheets you would actually prefer. All this white is blinding me, I can not imagine what it’s doing to you,” they sat on his bed frowning at the perfect sheets. “Unless you are jet lagged. Then I can just let you rest.”

Jake smiles and nods, “No, I would like that a lot actually. It is the perfect plan and maybe while we are at it I can get to know the new area. Besides, I want to catch up with my best friend. I will sleep tonight when the sun leaves us.”

Roxy then gave him the tour of the house. The upper floor had a massive library with many shelves still empty. Jake was informed that they will be filled throughout the time they all live together. There were several private studies as well within the library. Towards the back was a tall window facing the backyard with a flattering view of the garden. The kitchen was on the main floor. It was huge and had a back door to the basement. Apparently they will be having a few servants to do the upkeep of the mansion. The kitchen had a couple of different stoves and more than enough supplies that they can avoid washing the dishes for weeks. Each floor-level wing had more studies to be converted into specialized rooms as soon as the inhabitants needed them. At the east there was a room similar to what Jake thought would be the fancy version of a living room. A wide tv, several lounge chairs and couches, tabletop games, and a bookshelf with light reading and comics.

After the house tour, the two collected their daughters to go shopping for room decoration. Roxy revealed that it would all be on Jane showing off a corporate card with her name printed on it. They stopped at a mall. Rose and Jade lead the way picking out wall art and new sheets that were not the drowning white ones already on their beds. They eventually found time to stop and eat. The girls could not stop chatting with each other and making plans for when the group is all together.

“So, Rox, how is your transition treating you so far?” Jake turns to his old friend who was on their phone which has been going off quite a bit all day.. 

“It was actually quite smooth,” they smiled at him. “Obviously it was a shock to everyone but everyone that did matter did not mind it at all. They were there for me to help out. It was great exploring myself. Of course I still have my old clothes but I also found I like being more than that, it really isn’t about clothes or the way I look. It helped, but it’s more of a rebirth but this time I get to choose. I like being in this open ocean that I get to define.” They reached out to hold Jake’s hand. “I hope you will be there with me.” 

Jake squeezes their hand tight and nods. Roxy’s phone pings again. They gasped and covered their mouth. “We should head back to the house soon. Dirk figured out a compromise and just landed in Seattle.”

Jake’s stomach dropped. Dirk Strider. His former lover and admittedly the man that haunts his dreams every once in a while. More often than he admits.

The girls’ eyes light up. Jade shoved the last bit of heer food into her mouth encouraging Rose to hurry. She entertained her friend and ate faster. Jade collected her bags and tugs at Jake’s shirt, begging him to hurry. Jake snaps out of his horror and nods to her.

“Calm down, the drive is almost 40 minutes,” he tried to chuckle.

“But I want my room to be set up,” she pouts at him sadly. “If we can’t have our old things first we might as well try and look like we have been here more than a few hours.”

He pat her head and nods, “You are right. Let me enjoy my food and I will help you with your room.”

She whoops happily and goes through her bags to reorganize it to make it easier when they get back. 

Roxy saw Jake’s face changed and touched his hand. “Are you okay? Want to talk about it?”

He shook his head, “We have a room to decorate to show off to a cool kid.” He tried to smile but his chest felt like a black hole. He was already on edge about Jane but to add Dirk on top, he was not sure if he would be able to survive a week with everyone together. 

Once back at the house Jade and Rose were both hanging up tapestry and posters all over her walls. Jake was on a step stool trying to install hooks in the ceiling for future hanging baskets Jade was talking about having in the near future. Roxy was helping move around the furniture and making her bed with the new sheets.

“It’s Dave!” Jade had her face glued to the window. Bec hearing her excitement got up and barked wagging his tail. She grabs Rose’s hand and runs outside. “Come on, Bec! It’s Dave!”

Roxy looks up at Jake, concern for him. They moved over to the step ladder and touched his elbow. 

“You can’t avoid him forever. I don’t know what happened but at least do it for Jade’s sake. I will always be here for you,” they promised him. Jake steps down and lets them wrap their arms around him. He really needed it sobbing into their strong shoulders. “If he says anything I will give him a good fatherly scolding.”

Jake laughs and rubs his face. “Thank you, Rox. You go ahead and see your boy. I will go wash up my face. I promise I will meet you in the foyer.”

They reluctantly let him go frowning at his back. He made his way to the nearest bathroom. Once the door clicked shut behind him his body was taken over by a powerful shudder and he slid to the floor. His sobs silenced in his throat with his hand firmly over his mouth. He let the tears run down his face and rip through his chest. He curls his knees up to his chest. He wanted to just disappear. After a moment he gathered himself and shakily got up. He washed his face with cool water quickly. He looks into the mirror. Jake looks tragic like this. He sighs and tries to fix his moustache. There is nothing he can do about the gray hair that stood stark against his dark brown hair. At least not right now. Besides, it did make him look like a seasoned gentleman. He combs up his hair using a bit of water to help it stay in place. He forced himself to smile bringing color back to his face. He straightened out his button down and frowned seeing as he forgot his bowtie somewhere. Oh well, they will see it plenty enough, they won't miss it this one time. 

He made his way down to the foyer where there is already much chattering. The kids were so excited to catch up with each other and get their hugs. A young boy, Jake assumed to be Dave, made a face when Jade wrapped her arms around him but slowly melted to a smile and hugged her back. 

“I knew it was odd when you weren’t online for a month,” the blonde said, patting her head. His tanned hand was flecked with small scars. He reached out for Rose. “You don’t get to escape this if I have to do this.”

She smirks and joins the hug, “It’s nice to see you in person, nerd.”

“Hey, that is an insult to Egbert,” he snorts. A blush peeked under the aviators. Or maybe Jake was just seeing things and it was just a shadow cast over his chestnut skin.

Jake made his way down the stairs and pads over to Roxy. His chest tightened again. Roxy laughs at something Dirk just said. A large Dirk. Last he had seen him the man was a skinny thing losing color in his face from avoiding the sun and being in the middle of a life or death situation. This man grew out into his frame and nicely so. His arms were thick muscles with long scars on his right side. His face had sharpened nicely with a long jagged scar cutting diagonally across his face starting from his right brow hiding under his pointed shades and ending up curling on his left cheek tugging at the muscle a bit. It was white with age. He had traded his muscle shirt for a white polo and now spots a white ball cap casting a shadow over his face. Of course he could never replace those fingerless gloves. Or those tight pants that still made Jake wonder how he could possibly move around in or even kick the moves he made.

Dirk touched the brim of his hat nodding his head to him. “English. You haven’t changed.”

Roxy looks between them. The tension was thick enough to choke.

“Dirk,” he holds out his hand. “It is nice to see you again after all this time.” He smiles, hopefully it was convincing. He stares at his face past the dark shades he knew Dirk wore for comfort and hid himself behind. He stared at where he knew his eyes were, he knew what they looked like. He used to adore them in the dark when they sat together. They used to be so comfortable with each other. He could tell it took Dirk back. The kids were now watching them unaware of their history or why the tension was high. Strong firm hand touched the calloused hand shaking once.

“Yes, it is nice.”

Roxy could see neither of them will move first nor break eye contact first.

“How about we help you bring your things to your rooms?” 

Their chipper voice brought both men to the present. Dirk let go of Jake’s hand and turned to Roxy.

“That is not an issue for me, I can carry my own shit. Just lead the way, Captain.”

Roxy smiles and bounds upstairs, “Rose, can you show Dave to his room?” they call down halfway up the stairs.

The daughter nods dutifully grabbing one of Dave’s bags, “Let us head upstairs. You have the room facing the front lawn.” 

Jade grabs a backpack and another suitcase leaving Dave hugging a music case close to his chest following after Rose. Jade had stayed behind a moment.

“Are you okay, Grandpa?” she touched his hand. “You were a bit weird with Dave’s bro.”

Jake nods, “He just surprised me is all. Big bloke.”

She giggles, “Good. I’ll see you before bed.” She heads upstairs to catch up with her friends.

Once she disappeared he headed up to his room as well. He had just set his bags in his room before going to help Jade set up her room. Suddenly redecorating sounds like a chore. He dumps his bag onto the bed organizing between wall decorating, clothing, objects, and bedsheets. He starts off with what sounds like less work. Clothes were put away and decorative objects set around the room. He looks at some of the posters and wall art knowing he will need some kind of stepstool like the one he left in Jade’s room. He did not have the guts to leave his room just yet. He grabs the chair from his desk to stand on. It was almost therapeutic putting things up stepping back and adjusting it before putting in the final tape or nail. As he was stepping down to look at his current poster he bumps into something solid and warm. Hands steadied him by the hip before his shock could make him fall.

“Careful there,” a thick southern accent spoke near his ear.

His face heated up knowing exactly who caught him. He straightened up and moved off of his cushion.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you there, mate,” he turns to face him. “Is there anything I can help you with?” He could feel the heat prickle the back of his neck.

“Nah, just checking everyone out, and Roxy went to check on the little shits,” he shrugs. “I see I’m not the only one struggling with the whole wishy washy white look Jane picked out for us.” He scuffs his boot against Jake’s area rug. He was still into leather. “Your taste is exactly what I thought it would be.” He smirks at him.

“Little sh- do you really call your son and daughter that?” Jake raised a brow at him. “And Jade? My daughter?”  
“You let her call you ‘grandpa’,” he taunts him leaning in close, “does she really think there is a generation gap?”

“That- this is not your place to speak on,” Jake crosses his arms defensively. “Jane and I both agreed on not being mother and father to our kids.”

Dirk made a face at the mention of Jane. “I did not realize you were both co-parenting. As far as I was aware neither brats knew they were related or even talked to the other parent.”

“Why are you suddenly interested in how I parent? Are you planning on being some kind of therapist?” He wanted to be away from Dirk, scrub off his hands that touched him.

“Hey, no need to get defensive,” he groans, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was jus’ curious. Can’t I ask questions to catch up?”

“Now is not the time,” Jake frowns. “I think I am going to check on the kids as well.”

Jake tried to push past Dirk to leave the room. Instead the large man grabs his shoulder. Jake panicked and slaps his hand away.

“Do not touch me!” He glares at him. “I- I am not ready to see you yet.”

“Well, when will you be ready?” Dirk’s voice slowly rose with aggression. “It has been, what? 20 years? That is plenty of fucking time after one game session.”

“That is not how it works. You have done things to me that I will never forget and that is on your hands that you can clean off!” Tears prick his eyes. “I get to carry it forever. The worst part is, I thought it was normal.”  _ And I thought it was part of love. _

With Dirk stunned in stupor Jake marches away from him quickly rubbing his face on his sleeve willing his face to calm down in time before seeing the kids again. There was laughing from Dave’s room and bumps against the floor with Bec's excited barking. When Jake peeks inside he sees the three teens tackling Roxy and hitting each other with pillows. Bec was running around barking at them with his tongue hanging out. Jake couldn’t help smiling and grabbed a pillow himself joining the fight. He pressed his back to Roxy.

“I got your back!” he docks Jade in the face with the pillow making her gasp before ditching the pillow and just straight up throwing herself at him. He drops his pillow to catch her tickling her before she can go through with her plan. She squeals and laughs trying to shove his hand away.

“Jade down! I repeat, Jade down!” Dave announced. “All force on Grandpa!” 

He slaps his pillow at Jake knocking clear of his breath. Rose moved around to attack him as well. Jake curls around the giggling Jade.

“You will never get her back!” he announced.

Roxy stood over him batting their pillow at the two standing teens. They laugh turning their attack to them. Suddenly Dave yelps in fear as he is lifted off of the ground. Dirk held him by the back of his neck. The boy’s leg kicked wildly. His voice was filled with fear. Bec turns to growl and bark standing between Dirk and Jade protecting the girl.

“Bro! Put me down!”

“Hey, hey, lil’ shit, we don’t fight other people,” Dirk said. “Just me and our spars.” 

Rose instantly backed up hiding behind her father, Roxy placed a protective hand on their daughter.

“Dirk, put him down,” their voice was firm. They stood tall. “He was just playing.” Roxy glares him down. “I started the game which was very much harmless.”

Jade clings to Jake fear in her eyes. Jake hugs her tight looking up at him from the ground.

Dirk looks between Roxy and Dave before slowly lowering the boy. He collapsed on the floor rubbing the back of his neck. Jade crawls over to him to hug him close. Bec moves with her still in a stance ready to pounce Dirk.

“We will talk about this,” Roxy’s voice slightly waver. They really did love Dave and to think they allowed Dave to possibly live like this, they have failed him as a father.

Dirk only nods. He knew better than to downplay with Roxy.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment or constructive criticism. I am finally out of my 5 years hiatus/block and would love to improve.  
> I apologize for the short first chapter. It just felt right to keep it short and sweet.


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